Reconciliation: Restoring Relationships & Repairing Brokeness

A Time For Reconciliation

Never before has there been a greater opportunity to teach the power and significance of reconciliation and restoration in relationships as guided by the Holy Spirit.

During my 40 plus years of ministry there have been many milestones.  I thank God for the many positive and rewarding events in my life.  Unfortunately there were other times that were not my proudest moments.

Not only did I fail God during these turbulent times, but I am also painfully aware that I was the cause of hurt and pain for many people. As a believer committed to the principles set forth in the Scriptures, I take every opportunity to “repair the breach” as recorded in the book of Isaiah.  According to the recovery paradigm, we are responsible for our actions and thus we must make amends to the people we have mistreated or offended.

If we are interested in reconciliation our focus should not be to blame other or burden them with shame. Our aim is to seek  diligently for a way to reconnect. The pain of separation has to long lived in my heart and spirit. God is calling us to unity as a people and a nation.

What Does The Bible Say About Reconciliation?

 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.  2Cor 5:18, 19 

Jesus took upon himself the weight of the sin of others.  We must learn to approach others even if we are the wounded or violated party. We go towards them because Christ has gladly and joyfully died for us. As we have freely received we freely give. The sin of pride is a major hindrance in the process of reconciliation.

Yes we have been hurt however; we recognize that our daggers have cut deeply as well.

With regard to the hurt we have caused others, we must recognize that the mere utterance of “I am sorry” is not enough. Those words do not reflect a Biblical principle of reconciliation.

The Biblical paradigm requires godly sorrow followed by repentance for our wrongdoing.  The words “I am sorry” are simply a phrase of convenience used by humans to help them feel better about their actions. By not naming our specific transgressions we are not taking full responsibility for how we have hurt others.

Reconciliation means taking ownership of our own actions.

Selfish and self-centered people tend to minimize their actions and culpability. Denial is a skill learned in our youth that insulates us from the pain of reality. Identify your actions. If Jesus humbled himself even to the death of the cross, how dare we make efforts to make ourselves look better than we are. Brokenness and contriteness are prerequisites for reconciliation. However, our ability to attain this attitude directly hinges on our intentional willingness to specifically identify and confess our actions and behaviors.

• Does pride hinder you from being reconnected to your spouse or loved one?
• Do you go to sleep at night refusing to be restored in a holy manner to people placed in your life by the Holy Spirit?
• Have there been years since your last friendly dialogue with various loved ones?

Remember it is not important who is at fault. It is not our job to decide who is right or who is wrong. Because of Calvary we pray “Lord I want to be restored”. Then our heart says in response to conviction “show me how”.

I hope as you read this article you are challenged to travel on the road to reconciliation.

Restoration in all your relationships; especially those in which you were chiefly responsible for the injury, is essential.  Be very careful that in your efforts to reconcile you are not looking for an easy way out or in other words the “cheap seats.” To be confronted and to seek the forgiveness of others is far more pleasing to God than choosing the path that costs nothing.

I encourage you to embrace reconciliation as we begin a new year.

Related articles

• Love… the most powerful reconciliation tool (eigeges.wordpress.com)
• Restoration To God’s Favor (pureglory.net)
• Reconciliation (traskman.wordpress.com)

5 Hints to Enhance Your Marriage – Part 1

Is your marriage working for you?  Many people are struggling but cannot put their finger on the problem.  They are sure that they have love for their partner; however, figuring out what to do next leaves them bewildered.  Others are feeling the hurt and pain of a strained marriage.  You know that you love your mate but you cannot get along with them.  I wrote some helpful hints below that are sure to spruce up your home life.

1. Pursue an understanding of what real love is and does.  Much is written about love, unfortunately, the love that most people know or use is performance based.  As long as you perform, I will love you.  On the other hand, one could be thinking, as long as my emotions stay peeked and stirred I will love you.  Another favored is “I love you because…”  God’s love is unconditional and always a choice.  Commonly stated is that one “falls in love.”  We walk in or walk out of love.  Love is not a precipice that one stumbles off its ledge.  Love is a choice.  Every day we chose to love or not.  Love is what it does.  It is not what it feels or says.
2. Make a commitment to love your spouse all the time and under all circumstances.  No one functions well under the pressure of having to be perfect in order to be loved by their mate.  Love is an action work.  We choose to act in kind ways and employ loving behaviors.  Never pressure your mate for what you need or desire.  Allow them space to grow into maturity.
3. Never take the other for granted.  We agree that we are in relationships for the long haul.  However, human emotions still need validation and encouragement.  People are more likely to give more when they are given the message that they are greatly appreciated for what they do.  Doing that regularly around the home should be celebrated and not considered to be inconsequential.
4. Praise the other person often.   This is one of the most important elements of successful relationships.  Celebrating the others life and their achievements are critical to the intimacy.  We should be very careful not to ignore the little things and celebrate them as well.  Criticism that is constructive should be reduced to a minimum and general criticism should be done away with as a rule.  A happy home is where there is freedom to celebrate where children grow up learning the value of praising rather than tearing down.  They too become better at parenting and learn to be godly mates.
5. Be considerate.  This is the most challenging for most people in this current age.   By nature we practice selfishness.  Many of the things we do for others are tainted by motives that are less pure.  Our own defense mechanisms won’t allow us to see ourselves as we are.  We defend our willful and insensitive behavior often to the death of the relationship.

If you are interested in having and keeping harmony in the home always consider the other person.  You are not the loser placing someone else above yourself.  It takes a great deal of practice to learn how to be considerate and even longer if your natural state is one of selfishness.

Click to download Part 2.

The award-winning collection of autoblogging applications.

3 Ways to Build Better Relationships

To be a leader in a home or over a business suggests that one must or should have basic relational skills.  Relationships can simply be defined the business of getting along with another person.  The business of getting along should be of great importance to all of us.  You do not have to be an executive or head of a house to be good at relationships.  God’s word requires us, to do so.  We should speak comforting words to people; these kinds of words exemplify this principle.  Much of what we do requires teamwork.  Great teams cannot achieve its goals without relationships.  Relationships filled with health have trust, respect, and transparency just to name a few.  Mostly they have relationships.

Here are some suggestions that will help you in your journey to better relationships:

1. Know the people around you.   This is an admonishing from the bible.  Do yourself a favor and seek to understand the individuals in your life.  Learn from them, about them.  Listen to their hearts and become aware of their sensitivities.  Awareness of the words and actions that turn them on and turn off is of super importance.  Do not lump people into categories that makes life easy for you.  Labeling others is insulting.  No one wants inappropriate categorizing.  To do so is an overt act of rudeness.  Finally, I once heard it said that rudeness is a weak-man’s imitation of strength.
2. Respect boundaries.  Boundaries are limits.  Each person has a limit to what he/she will or will not take.  There are body boundaries and emotional boundaries.  There are also conversational boundaries.  Learn what boundaries are and avoid violating them in order to ensure a productive relationship.
3. Ask God for an understanding heart.  Ask our heavenly father to give you an appreciation for the differences in others around you.  Celebrate the differences rather than being afraid of them.  Why would you be uncomfortable with the expressed values of those unlike us?  The bible says, “commending ourselves to every man’s conscience.”  Respecting others and their views is vital to building bridges that create relational connection.

The webs number 1 SEOpressor clone plugin.